Monday, 20 June 2011

Wig #1 and Chemo #2

It's funny (not ha ha) how you can do the same thing day in and day out and assume that it will be the same in a month or a year to come. As I gathered my goods at the supermarket this afternoon, I was struck by the idea that I would never have imagined that in June of 2011 I would be purchasing gluten-free crackers (a treat during chemo) whilst wearing a wig.

Remember how I said that I wasn't self-conscious of my new hair do? Well, I was totally self-conscious wearing a wig. Everytime someone looked at me I felt myself get smaller. Had my wig fallen off? Did it look ridiculous? Had the hair fallen out the wig? Was is sitting crooked? Did the hairline look odd? Had the wig slipped back and away from my forehead? How many questions can one ask one's self in five seconds? Lots apparently. I tugged and combed my fingers through my hair when I thought that no one was looking. Was I going to get used to this?

Admittedly, I was excited when I logged onto the auction site to buy a few wigs.

If you ever need a wig, look on-line for sure. You can buy brand new wigs and they are a whole lot cheaper than the shops here. Apologies to the Australian Retail Association.

Anyway, when they arrived and I put them on, I wasn't too convinced they suited. But that's it. I don't want to take the whole wig thing too serious. I can have fun with it. Right? Well, my "everyday wig" is short and not too crazy. My other two, well, they represent my adventurous side. Yes, I do have one...

My adventurous side, at the moment however, is being smashed by my "Oh-no-I'm-having-chemo-tomorrow-and-now-I-know-what-to-expect-it's-freaking-me-out!" side. I really did think that I would be so experienced (even with just one treatment) that my second session would be no big deal. Yeah, right. I am anxious. To cry, panic and react to the drugs again would not be good. Then again, it could be worse...It's best not to think about it, I reckon. So, I will go to my happy place. It's nice there :)

Just to make life more interesting, both child one and two are sick! The husband got up for them both during the night. Thanks! Child one had a fever that was so high that she was actually delirious! She was rambling on about strange things. It was scary. I have never seen anything like it in real life. I thought that only people dying of typhoid, in movies, got that ill. I refrained from dabbing her head with a cloth moistened by being dipped in a basin beside the bed; saw that in the movies too. A dose of modern medicine brought the temperature down. I am keeping up the medicine and very keen for the runny nose, coughing and sad faces to leave our home.

Tomorrow's a big day for the whole family. I have my support person and babysitter arranged. I'm ready on the outside. But on the inside? Mmm...not sure about that.

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