Monday, 27 June 2011

Climbing Back Up The Mountain

This last weekend has been the toughest! On Friday and Saturday I was unable to move. I just had no energy. At all. I recall being tired when I was pregnant. And, for those of you who have experienced that, that is how I felt. Except I couldn't push through it like I was able to when I was pregnant. My body wanted nothing else but to rest. I was deflated. So, the husband took the day off work Friday and then maintained homeland duties Saturday and Sunday. Poor guy! While I was terribly sorry that he had to do it all alone, there was nothing in me that could help. It certainly got me thinking though...

I have read quite a number of breast cancer stories where women reported that their partners left them after their diagnosis. Now, my judgemental self looked down at those blokes and tutted at such cowardly behaviour. I have to retract that now though. While there is no way my husband would choose that (so grateful), I can certainly better understand why, for some people, it's the better decision. To be a support person you have to be in it 100%, there is no half-hearted effort. Just after my diagnosis, a friend, who was told they had terminal cancer (they survived though), shared that their experience was that it was the partner who had it the toughest. That, in fact, it was easier to be the one with the cancer. The point has been taken. The husband had to look after the children and the demanding, cancer patient. All at the while, trying to keep up morale. It's hard work. I love the husband. He was a good pick.

Just because I am wanting to be open about all the stuff to do with chemo... I have to report that I needed Movicol. Now, if you look at the name of the product carefully you may be able to work out what it does for the human body without the google search. Actually, I'm looking at the box and it has a picture of a big wave on it. I am pretty sure that I do not want a wave to occur but anyway... Last chemo, I had eagerly eaten prunes on the off chance that the drugs would cause constipation (there I said it). This time, I rested on my laurels and all too soon it was the weekend and nothing was happenning that should be happenning, if you know what I mean. So, I took the meds. I am pleased to report that they did work. Moving along (pun not intended).

I didn't start out feeling too good, today. But, by lunchtime I was rocking! Yeah! I'm back in town! After lunch we went for a short walk up the street. The children and I were all wearing beanies and in our daggiest outfits ever. But, they didn't care so neither did I. It was also around that time that child number two seemed to have overcome the cold that had given us so many sleepless nights. Did I already mention that I felt... AWESOME?

My only "whinge" at this point is that (actually I have two), I am pretty over looking like I just walked out of a salon. Whenever I look to the left or the right I see bits of hair. It literally looks like I have just had a hair cut. Exactly a week after my first chemo, my hair was coming out in friendship groups. Tomorrow marks a week so, to be honest, I would love the whole lot just to come out. The second whinge, is that I have been getting hot every now and again. It was worrying me at first. In the middle of the night, I would feel the need to take my beanie off. Each time, I quickly grabbed my thermometre thinking that I had a fever. Anyway, I think it's actually a hot flush. You know, that strange thing that happens to women over 50. Menopause. Yeah.

Finally, if I hadn't upset your stomach from the earlier topic maybe I can with the last. A doctor reported to my mum that eating liver (cooked of course, I'm not a freak) can combat neutropenia. I grew up eating liver and onions and I really don't mind it. Pre-gluten days, I would have loved it with some fresh, white bread. Tonight though, I enjoyed it on spinach leaves and mushrooms. Delicious. Until, the chemo is over, I am going to aim to have liver twice a week. It will be my way to getting healthier sooner. Any liver recipes?

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