I have been tired, grumpy and very much on edge. A couple of times I have had to apologise to child number one for being snappy and impatient. But truly, going out to meet with friends, leaving the confines of the my home, at the end of today, did me a world of good.
While I am by nature quiet and by my own diagnosis an introvert, my mum has always encouraged me to go out especially in those moments where you don't want to. I am so glad I did. I shared a beautiful paleo dinner with wonderful, loving friends and came home with an appetite for food (this means I'm getting better) and on a bit of a high. "Wisdom" would have told me to stay home and rest but isn't it the way that doing what you don't want to do is often the best for you.
When I did return home I made a passing comment that the bone on my wrist was sensitive to touch. Wow! I was so excited! Could this be the only pain that that needle was going to cause me? Yes! I could not have been happier.
Well, I better return to the beginning of the day, because while today ended well, it didn't start well. I took the last of my zofran and dexamethasone (no pramin for me today). I did not have an appetite, same as yesterday. What was different today though was that everything tasted the same. I stood in front of the cupboard and then the fridge sampling a variety of foods. I may as well have been eating the one item. There was no change in taste. This was not going to help my appetite pick up.
I'm back to rinsing my mouth four times a day. That should help my mouth return to normal...And, if I go by my last round at least I have an electric toothbrush to look forward to!
A good friend shared with me that she was emotional after the second bout of chemo and I can definitely ditto that. Both times, when I put my head down for a nap I cried for a minute. It was for no particular reason. Then, when I wanted to thank child number one for being such a treasure I felt the tears coming on. And then, just to confirm that I was having an emotional day, I broke out in tears just as our car pulled up at our friend's place. The husband loved that! He didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I wanted him to do either. Totally hormonal. I reckon it's the one time that anyone can say the "H" word while I am crying and I won't have to fight off the urge to just punch them in the face!
So, I am very pleased to report that I am going to bed feeling happy about tomorrow. My guess is that we will picnic in the T.V. room all day. I will do very little and the children will play and watch television. I'm ok with that.
Like everything, it's only for a season. And, we will try and make the best of this one.