Friday, 19 August 2011


It was a scary drive on the highway (too many trucks) this morning. But, it was very much worth it. I met with the Tough Bald Chicks; Breast Cancer Support Group. I had shared (yep, totally in past tense now) my chemo sessions with these women. It was their smiling faces, words of encouragement and tales of their experiences that spurred me on. They didn't take away the pain, but it most definitely made cancer worth it. Seriously. So much has come out of having breast cancer that the husband and I would not have it any other way. In fact, I do feel ok about me having cancer now. Me. Cancer. It's fine for those words to be in the same sentence.

I wear more make up than I would like to now. So, as I zoomed through the shopping centre with child number one in tow, I was very careful about dabbing both my eyes. Yeah. Both eyes are watering now. If I have to use two hands for anything, I have to move my head in a way that prevents the tear from falling where it shouldn't. Gross. I know. Who wants eye juice? Child number one copped a drop. My hands were too busy buckling the child restraint... I was reassured, today, when I looked around the table of women to see that others shared my watery side effect. How weird is that? It's the chemo that does it. It's obviously very common but, certainly not recorded on the sheet of side effects that I received all those months ago. I continue to dab.

Fatigue, I despise you. I certainly sense that that is leaving my building. Woohoo! Unfortunately, rad fatigue may be entering through the same door. That's a blow. Totally. I do not like being tired. I have been trying to turn a deaf ear to the duration of rad fatigue but, I may as well face it. It is likely to last up to twelve months! Hearing that really gets my back up. It makes me want to resist the fatigue. Like, (tough voice) these rads aren't gonna make me tired. I don't even think I ever got into a fighting stance with the cancer like I do with regard to fatigue. Last night, I did a metcon session. Building that muscle seems to be the best thing that I can do to prepare for the rads (and fatigue). And, of course, it's something that I enjoyed.

The photo in today's blog is more about recording the physical changes that occurred during the cancer treatment. I did take one of me smiling but I didn't like it. Who does like pictures of themselves? This photo gives the impression that I am miserable, which is very far from the truth. It's there for the future. In a year or so I will put my hair behind my ears to have a better look at this photo of me; back when I had breast cancer. I will laugh at my bald head, comment on how thin my eyebrows got, have a whinge about my leaking eyes and try to explain how lots of good things can come from bad situations.

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