Saturday, 6 August 2011

Game Over, Man

From one extreme to the other. That's me. Remember my moods yesterday? Well, today I wasn't so highly strung.

This morning, I opened my eyes hesitantly. I am always cautious in the mornings after chemo. Until the last of the low immune days have passed, any strange side effects may show up. I had to admit though, I felt better than yesterday. And, if my memory served me well, better than this time in my last chemo cycle.

Our family spent a great amount of time in the backyard. While I still took on the watching role, I felt good. The fatigue was there but not pressing enough for me to have a morning nap. I ate. Then, it was time for the children to have their afternoon nap. By that time, I was tired!

I put my head down to sleep. Not for long. I was struck with the notion that chemo was over. It was like a switch was flicked. Literally, within milliseconds, I was too excited to sleep. I shed a tear (of joy). It was over. The dreaded chemo sentence was over. Chemo was done. I didn't have to do it again. I repeat, it was over! There was no way I could sleep now!

But, I was still tired. I got back under the blankets and forced my eyes shut. The birds were singing in the trees. Did they always do that? Yes, of course. Today, they seemed happier than ever before. This is so lame and definitely cliche but it was like I hadn't heard them before. Actually, let's face it, if the neighbours had to begin playing the Red Hot Chilli Peppers' songs in succession (this has been done before) it is likely I would have enjoyed that too. The fact is, chemo was history. What seemed enormously impossible, to even grasp in my mind, was now just a small sentence in my history. I did chemo. I survived. (Two sentences actually).

My high didn't last all that long. By the evening, I was constipated (great!) and fatigued. I drank a "lemon" flavoured medicine and went to bed.

I was another day further away from chemo.

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