Wednesday, 10 August 2011

The Last Effects

It is with great joy that I endure the last side effects of chemo. Of course, the fatigue made its appearance.

The last three mornings, I have risen from bed feeling light. That's the best way for me to describe the fatigue. But, it was only when the fatigue lifted, somewhat, that I came to be able to explain it in such terms. Fatigue is heavy. It weighs you down. It anchors you emotionally, physically and mentally. When I'm in that place, I am unable to comprehend how everyone around me is able to make plans, fulfil them and then have energy to spare. The thought of making up my bed just doesn't register. It's registering now though. I did my best house clean up today. I feels great to be back!

No more hair has fallen out. Aside from some fine hair poking up, I am completely bald. It must be quite a sight when the husband rolls over, in the middle of the night, and sees a bald woman (beanie off because of one of the many night sweats - they continue!) next to him. My hair will begin to grow back soon. I looked longingly at hair-photos (of me) today. I'm definitely ready for hair. Research tells me that the paleo way encourages fast hair growth. I'm going to eat my hair back (another paragraph ending in this word...can it continue?).

My hands are looking so old these days. The chemo really dries out the skin. And, both my hands and feet are not their usual colour. Even my nails look strange. I wonder when the circulation will improve enough for the youthful, healthy colour to come back?

What else to report? The twin patches, on my cheeks, have not become red. And so, they have not spread any further than what they did in the last cycle. It's too late for them to do so now. Good. What I have noticed though, is that the discolouration is retreating. To even toned skin, let me welcome you back.

A strange side effect that has carried over from the last cycle is my forever twitching eye. For two weeks, my eye has twitched. Not consistently. Randomly. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. That same eye has watered too, in the same way; just when it feels like it (usually when I don't have a tissue to dab at it). Now, that same eye has a sty. I believe it represents the stress that my body has been under over the last couple of months. None of these problems have been painful though. Annoying? Very! Another thing. While lying next to child one, I noticed something that I was missing. White eyes! Check out a child's eyes. The sclera (thanks Google) is so white. My sclera is not looking (pun unintended) good these days. I'm told that this shows that the liver is under fire. I have some wonderful bags under my eyes too. But really, do you think I care, now? No way. I'll get my good health back.

Yes, I think it is a fair call to say that I am through the worst. Chemo has no power over me. I will now concentrate on smashing these side effects with good nutrition, sufficient rest and (I can't wait to start back again) exercise.

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